When people are in pain, they want the hurt to stop NOW! However, the reason for the pain is complicated. The actual cause needs to be explored. Otherwise, you may end up frantically trying to fix something that isn’t even the cause! That’s the problem. When people are hurting, their patience takes a hit. They often go after a short term benefit while in the long term these actions actually exasperate the problem! When people shoot from the hip, they trade speed for accuracy. The same goes for decision making. When people want to know the cause of the pain ASAP, they can jump to the wrong conclusion on what’s causing the hurt in the first place! They have determined this problem to be the cause of their unhappiness and can end up spending years or even a lifetime trying to fix the wrong problem and they become exasperated because their life isn’t getting any better in spite of their efforts!

I’ve seen this scenario play out many times and it’s likely that you have as well. We’re great at recognizing the horrible decisions that other people make and it can be blaringly obvious to us that some people are their own worst enemy. However, we’re really bad at seeing how we do the same at times. That’s because our defense barriers are so powerful. They shield our eyes away from the idea that we may be bringing some of the problems onto ourselves. Putting it simply, they immediately reject any criticism (internal or external) and instinctively justify their behavior. Unfortunately, this protective barrier can be one of the reasons on why we remain stuck or keep repeating the same pattern. This defensive barrier can be more of a spam filter for the brain. It allows in all evidence that supports that we’re correct in whatever we believe to be true and it blocks anything that suggests otherwise. This is confirmation bias and this ‘spell’ can be so hypnotic that we can be blind that it even exists!

A picture is worth 1,000 words. Actually, pictures are worth more than that. That’s because my infographics explain things so quickly. A person can absorb the message so fast that they understand it before than they can recognise an uncomfortable truth. People can absorb the message before they have a chance to ‘turn their mind off’ and avoid the bitter pill.

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